Tuesday 11 January 2011

This is where a title goes.

Day no. 8523 of my life, things are going swimmingly, I have eaten two tins of peaches and 3 oranges since awakening an hour ago. The taste sensation of an orange is hard to describe, citrus explosion? they do kind of explode in your mouth, like a segment of miniature capri sun's. I could eat oranges all day. They are full of healthy things like citric acid, which unlike nitric wont melt your face like a Cambodian man pissed at his wife. Jests aside acid attacks are pretty horrific, the victims come out of hospital looking like the monster from Pan's Labyrinth, except the eyes arn't on the hands, they are halfway down their face sloop. Oranges are real good for hangovers and I am currently experiencing one, its mild the worst is over, I find the first 15 minutes when you are lying in bed and your mouth tastes like the floor of a industrial rave the worst part, once liquid and oranges have been consumed your on the rapid road to recovery. Some people suggest things like Alka-Seltzer and shit, these people are wrong, motherfucking oranges yo.

I'm glad the hangover is almost through as I have a lecture soon, on Biochemistry, incidentally the hardest module of my course, I had an exam a few weeks ago and even though revision was achieved, I would rather take a boating holiday off the coast of somalia than do another one, although I am sure the weather would be exemplary, and with an exchange rate of 2475 somali shillings to the pound, my meagre funds would go a long way. Obviously there is an issue with being kidnapped and if I fought back, torn to pieces like those guys in Black Hawk Down, that was a good documentary, Tom Sizemore was in it, and I have time for Tom Sizemore, the man was in Heat and Saving Private Ryan, I'm also aware that he beat the shit out of Heidi Fleiss, Its a shame he couldn't beat the ugly out of her. 

Over time you will notice that my blog will actually contain nothing of value, I've been attempting to think of a point or a general theme to it for the last few days, but have come up with nothing, I imagine it will contain my thoughts and ramblings about life and whatever is going down in it. Gripping stuff I know, my life is like riding Space Mountain at Disney on all the truffles in Amsterdam. I have just discovered whilst browsing imdb that Tom Sizemore was also in Pearl Harbour, fuck that film and fuck Michael Bay, its the popular opinion to hate him, but come on that was one of the worst films, Cuba Gooding Jr was the best thing in it, but unfortunately for the film he is black and they didn't really like black people back then, so he realistically couldn't of had a bigger part. Michael Bay is on his way to redemption in my eyes however as he cast Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Megan 'faux' Fox's replacement in the third Transformers film, which will be as shit as the first two but twice as faptastic. I was shown a video of her getting her boobs out for a photo shoot yesterday, they are pretty excellent. I tore my jeans.

Hilariously It has taken me 40 minutes to write this, So I'm going to make bacon and eggs and have a fourth orange, I fucking love oranges, and my mouth still tastes like a homeless man's drugrug. 

peace x

1 comment: